I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
