Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
