she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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