She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
We need to rekindle our bromance
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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