Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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