she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
We have started to decorate penises.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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