Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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