The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I came so hard my ears popped.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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