it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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