Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
