I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
