I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
