im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
