You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize