i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
