you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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