this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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