Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Why did my mother make you get naked?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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