Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
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