You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
