i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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