I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
