He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
