this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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