there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
