BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
