She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
