Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
