that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
