I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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