i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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