im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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