Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize