Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
