I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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