No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i would punch a child for taco bell
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
