mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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