singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
organizing the empties. That sober.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
