Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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