She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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