I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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