Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
