Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
