My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
