and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
