is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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