Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
