She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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