does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
