Buhtt sex?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
