keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
