She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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