I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
