Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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