his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
