Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize
