is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
You have to summon your inner elephant
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
