me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
