Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
