You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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